You open your Internet browser and type in lingerie – wholesale. You choose a dealer with the styles you know he will like. How many negligees does one need for a 3-day tryst? You shiver with anticipation.

Finally the weekend arrives. You get to the hotel first to make your final preparations. You don the first negligee, barely able to contain your excitement.

There is a knock at the door. You call out, “Who is it?” You hear your husband respond, “I have the papers you requested.”

You unlock the door and take a pose as you say, “Come in.”

He freezes, his throat working but no sound comes out.

You say, “Lock the door. We don’t want my…husband walking in on us.”

His eyes widen as he finally understands the game. He locks the door and says, “We wouldn’t want that.”

He admires your negligee. “Very nice.”

You sidle up to him, unbuttoning his shirt. “I’m glad you like it.”

The negligee doesn’t last 30 seconds.